Ha ha, Bill...the thought certainly does have a daydream appeal, doesn't it?!
I can't say that I was as graceful about her annoying behavior and my triggers as I would like to have been, but I suppose we've just settled into a standard little routine that we have; it needs some tweaking, but it's better than it used to be.
It's very odd, because my mother will say things that trigger me, and I will react defensively, but lately within the past year or so, I've noticed that she is actually the one who will often refrain from carrying on with the topic.
But it's just bizarre that she brings up things that are somewhat offensive or "push my buttons" to begin with, and then when I react, she gets to choose the healthy route of changing the subject, or whatever.
I really don't know what goes on in that woman's mind, all I know is that the only behavior I can control is my own, and if it's something really problematic I can set some very basic boundaries as needed.
It really is weird. She points out my own unhealthy behaviors and reactions that I learned from her, but she is evidently completely unwilling to acknowledge the fact that
I learned the behaviors from her!
Now *that* can be frustrating, especially because she hasn't changed those behaviors in her own life...so, it's not as though I can look at her and say "oh my, yes, what an exemplary role model you are for this advice!"
There have been many times when I have fantasized about just really calling her out, no holding back.
But I did that once, and she didn't own up to a d@mn thing, even though I was sobbing and completely breaking down while I was telling her about how she destroyed my childhood.
Well, she's gone back home now, and after she left I got to spend some time with true friends who I haven't had time to see for a while, they met my son, and I had a nice Saturday night at home with my friends, husband, and son.
Now to get over my MIL's annoyingly confusing behavior and mixed messages, and the fact that she (or her friend) rearranged all of my kitchen knickknacks and decorations while she was babysitting today.
That has to be one of my biggest pet peeves ever, and I just got done putting the very same things back after my mom rearranged them because she's exasperatingly obsessive-compulsive about not having anything on the counter or table tops. Erghh!
Note to self: Lesson of the year--move around people's obnoxious behaviors whenever possible, be aware of my own, and choose my battles when it comes to debates or boundary setting.
