thank everyone for replying !!!
This is a progressive diesece, it just gets worse if they keep drinking. If I had to do it over again I would have left 5-7 years ago. Sometimes I can kick myself for staying as long as I did, but I can't undo it so I will look forward instead of backward. The children get older, you can not hide it from them forever. The children will suffer more by staying. They will lose their respect and love for the A just as I or you did/have. One of my kids will not have anything to do with her father, if I had had him leave sooner would it have changed things, I don't know. The 2 of them will have to work on that relationship. A does not help, according to him, he did nothing wrong, he was sick and feels that he does not owe her anything. I can not change the feelings between the 2 of them. SHe over 18 so she doen not have to see him if she doesnt want to.
That dry drunk question someone asked me about; Yep, I think I lived with a dry drunk for about 8 months before he moved out. It was as if he had not quit drinking.
Longstrangtrip.........mine got help, went sober, according to him has not had a drink in over a year. I DO NOT want anything to do w/ him. I will not go back there. My love for him went down his throat from bottom after bottle after bottle, nite after nite. How many nites have you sleept alone, went out by yourself, he had to stay home and drink.
I detached from him so long ago I really can't tell you when it happen. I would go to parties by myself, family functions just me and the kids, he would tell the kids he had to work so he could stay home and drink. It was like we were 2 people leading seprate lives. We would come home and tell him what he missed, he would act like he was so sorry he missed something.
Now he is gone and gets the younger kids on Wes. and a few weekends evert now and then. He always makes sure he tells them that the divorce is moms fault and how depressed he is because he is not part of the family anymore. The kids are like, yeah right dad. I dont think he realizes that the kids have been onto his drinking for some time. They have to vent for a while after being w/ him sometimes so I listen. It is getting less as time goes by. I have asked several times if they want to go talk to a pro. about it. They always say no, talking to you, mom, is good enought for them. He actually had it put in the divorce papers that I am not allowed to talk bad about him around the children. LOL.
Anyway, I LOVE THIS PLACE!!
It does remind me of way I had him leave and way I will not let him come back home. His home is elsewhere now,
Bye for now