Thank you all for the replies to my post. I am taking a class on CoDependency and setting boundaries. It is amazing! I fit every last possible characteristic of "what is a codie"! I am also attending Al Anon, as it is the closest thing I have to Nar Anon without an hour drive...and i do have little ones, so it can be tough, especially with him gone.
anvil, you are so right. I have no idea who the sober person is, nor does he from what I can tell. He's been in a chemically induced fog the majority of his adult life. It is sickening. All I know that I can do right now is get healthy myself and realize that I don't have to make any decisions right now one way or the other. I am seriously considering telling him he can not come back here for a while (maybe forever) when rehab is complete. I don't believe I am strong enough to not "police" right now and I have been there, done that 7 years ago.....and I am NOT going back! It is a miserable life and I will not deprive my children of a healthy mother when they already have a sick father. Make sense? Thank you all again. I will keep you posted!