Welcome to SR notdoingfine. You are defenately not alone.
I had to try several different meetings before I found the ones that felt right for me. Try to listen for the similarites of how others FEEL because of alcoholism. Many of us didn't lose everything or even much of anything, but ourselves. The guilty, smelly, awful, remorseful, self-loathing feeling that we can all relate to in the midst of our addiction.
Don't give up.
God bless.