Chiyo, your friendship with your dear friend was a good thing, and deserves to be honoured. Grieving is how we do this.
These feelings of loss and sadness you have now are the results of all that is good in life. They need to be accepted and even celebrated. How lucky you have been to have known two such beautiful people who have touched you so deeply. Your friends were lucky too to have known you.
I am sorry for your loss.