Devastated
I am devastated. One of my closest friends passed away last night. This is the second person close to my heart to pass away in the last two months. I am a mess. I'm not sure how to process all of this. I haven't finished grieving for the person that passed away 2 months ago and here is another person to grieve for who was taken way too soon. I haven't slept all night, I have no one to talk to about this. I tried talking to hubby but he's not sure what to say so he changes the subject. I am seriously considering going to the liquor store when it opens in a couple of hours because that's the only way I know I'll be able to process all of this. To make matters worse, I am considering not going to the funeral. Its incredibly selfish of me, she was my best friend and here I am thinking of how hard this will be on me. I am afraid that if I go I will have a mental breakdown. There is so much going through my head, I just don't know what to do with myself. 2 days ago I was happy about having almost a whole month sober and today all I can think of is drinking myself into a coma.
I apologize for unloading on you all like this, I'm all alone right now and this is the only way for me to get it all out.