Of God and Psychiatrist - Part I
I hadn't been to church in a long time; not since I moved here to finish school. Last fall I started thinking about maybe it would be nice to go back. I had mentioned it to BF, but he was rather neutral about the idea; probably would have went if I had insisted; but that's not really why your supposed to go; so I dropped it. Didn't really feel at the time like I wanted to go alone.
I talked about it again before Christmas; because well tis the season, and this church is kinda small and old fashioned; but to me it has ways just looked so peaceful and comforting. But well Xmas didn't work out for obvious reasons....
So last week one day, I was with BF and we passed by that church and I was looking at it. I didn't say anything to him, but I was thinking one day I will just get up enough courage to go by myself.
So yesterday, in the middle of day; BF asks if we could talk. He said that be had been thinking, and wanted me to know that he wasn't sure if he would ever be able to forgive God for taking away his son, but he had decided that if it was at all possible that God had helped get him out of the hell he had been living in a while back, and if God had anything to do with bringing me into his life; then maybe he could try to at least peacefully coexist with him. And then he asked me if I still wanted to try out the church I'd told him about; and if so was there enough time for HIM to do his hair, and pick out just the right thing to wear. I said yes, I thought HE would have enough time for that.
So today we went; and it was good. The people were friendly and the sermon was nice; and the atmosphere was peaceful just as I thought. A group of people invited us to go out for lunch with them, and it was a bit much all at once, but we had fun anyway.
Later we talked, and agreed that maybe we found something special at this little church; and we will take it slow with this new discovery, but together we will give it a try.
I just feel good about it and wanted to share. I'm proud of BF because I know he has really been working hard to release all the demons he has inside; losing his toddler to cancer; it broke him. And I think finally he is reaching some level of acceptance with this, and many of the things that came after.
Work in Progress.....