Hi,
I'm so sorry you're dealing with the fallout of somebody else's drinking. But I'm glad you're here. You'll find lots of good information, love, and support here. This forum, together with Al-Anon, kept me sane through the last four years of my marriage, an ugly divorce, and is still my go-to place for all things related to life affected by alcohol.
You will find lots of people here who can absolutely relate to your situation.
I left my AH after his alcoholism affected his behavior to the point where it was no longer safe for me and our children. Others here have stayed with a drinking alcoholic spouse, or one working on recovery. Yet others have separated and gotten back together after their spouse has found sobriety.
Al-anon likes to say that there are thre Cs you need to remember: you didn't Cause his drinking; you can't Control it, and you can't Cure it.
Al-Anon also talks about addiction as a disease, and one that somewhere along the line robs the addict of the ability to make rational decisions.
It's late where I'm at, too, and I'm afraid I might not be much help right now, but I did want you to know that you are not alone and that there are people all around you who understand what you are going through and will share our experiences with you.