To be honest with you, TU, I'm betting that a bold declaration of "I am a non-drinker" would probably carry the same weight with the members of the Friends and Family Forum as the promise of not drinking one day at a time. The impact of our promises are nothing; it is our actions that count. I would also venture to say that one single action does not make all right in their world. It is the culmination of actions that may re-spark their trust in us; and it is probably safe to say that even though we change our ways, there is no guarantee they will ever trust us again.
I hated what I became while I was drinking, and saw my reflection clearly in the eyes of my loved ones. I had to focus on what I became and to change that; the benefits of that change were that I regained the trust of some; but to others, the damage was done and they chose not to touch the hot iron again. I understand and came to terms with it. It saddens me on occassion to reflect on that loss, but the reality is, I created it.
My new reality was created one day at a time. It was kind of like building a house with a strong foundation. I knew I wanted to build a new and different house that could accommodate a lot of guests and family, but if I looked at all the work in front of me, I would be overwhelmed. So I laid down one brick at a time, and before I knew it, I had the foundation laid, and I made sure I had a lot of doorways to move from room to room, and ultimately ended up building the house I envisioned. It's rooms are now filled with people. It is a far cry from where I was - alone, isolated, filled with anger and hatred.
Believe me, I had my Scarlett O'Hara moments where I gave broad exclamations of "As God is my witness, I will never drink again", but for me, they didn't work. I have, however, witnessed others who have done those exclamations and it just plain befuddled me that they in fact DID stop the madness. Amazing.
Is one way better than another? My experience tells me that it truly depends on the personality type, and the toolbox they build to deal with the addiction. It has to make sense for us.