Thank you for the feedback!
Kmangel - it is funny our names are so similar. I appreciate your book recommendation. I actually came across your posts about the book after I posted and quickly went to order it from Amazon.
I am very grateful that my son was ready to work a program; that was certainly not a given when he entered rehab. At that time I just wanted him to be someplace safe and somewhere he would be given the tools to begin his recovery. I had to let go of the result after that. At this point I am encourage by and proud of his efforts but I do not kid myself that this will be an easy road. I still have to manage all of the fear and enabling impulses I have - how can you not when you love them so much. I truly believe that when the addict has a reason and desire to recover they will - my role I feel is to provide support for those efforts to the extent that is necessary. The trick is trusting them.......wish there was a quick fix for that! but figure time will heal.
I admire how you and your husband have worked things out and are using the book to "get on the same page". This must be a tremendous relief to you and provide you with much better support. Being married and living together probably made working through this more a requirement for the two of you than my situation with my BF. Bit of a drawback in my situation on one hand and also gives me away to distance myself on the other.
I will read the book and then pass it along to him. Probably the best I can do at this point.
I wish you all the best with your son!!