Thanks everyone- great advice all around! I know I can't save her, she has to do that herself. I just wanted to let her know that I would help her if and when she wanted to get her life together. I don't want to fight with my husband, but I keep thinking- if it were my son, and not my neice, would I give up? Absolutely not! Not yet, anyway. I'm sure there comes a time when you have done all you can. It seems I have some thinking and praying to do! Many thanks for the replies- you guys are amazing!!!