lonelysad239

Hello! My story will probably be similar to alot of people here. I started dating my boyfriend around a year ago and he said the famous lines, " i have been using for two years, but I am 100% clean now". So I believed him.. why would I have any doubts?. I was very naive about the whole drug scene, never done it, never knew anyone who did. Our relationship was wonderful, felt like a fairy tale. He treated me like a princess and made me feel so special. I cannot bash him in that sense, he loved me unconditionally and I thought we would spend our whole lives together. I found my "soul mate". He started acting weird, and I started questioning him.. But when I did, " Baby how can you even say that?, I would never do that and hurt our relationship, why don't you trust me?".. So I believed him. I loved the man and thought he would never, ever lie to me. One day, I found out he's been using, for a FACT. I confronted him and as all addicts do, pleaded and cried that he will "stop", and give him another chance and he's sorry for manipulating me and it's not personal. So I did. I was the most supportive girlfriend, my life was put on hold. I would never judge him or bash him, we would always talk about everything and his journey towards recovery. He said he didn't need any treatment & can do it on his own. Time continued and I felt like our fairy tale was continuing.. Found out AGAIN, hes been using and stole a large sum amount of money from family members. Then goes the speech again, " Baby, I am a bad person, I don't deserve to have you", " Please stay, and help me, I NEED YOU". These words break my heart, how can I leave a man who's sick?, a man who I love with everything in my body?. So I decided to stay and told him this is the last chance and he better get clean and go to rehab. He was going.. until he went to jail for stealing money a few weeks later. I was shocked and hurt and felt numb.. who the **** was this person? Do I know him?.. He called me from jail numerous times, i finally picked up and had the courage to end the relationship with tears and all. I told him maybe there can be a future for us if he is clean and his actions speak louder than words. Everything was fine in that conversation, he said he will do everything and anything to stay clean to not lose me and we will be together one day. After that conversation, didn't hear from him for a few days. I feel so hurt and upset, I feel guilty for breaking up with him during his biggest struggles, but I know I did the right thing. I feel guilty for leaving him, I feel bad for abandoning him. If it was me, I know he wouldn't have left me. I wish he can call me and I can at least hear his voice and hear how hes doing.. I don't understand why he stopped calling? I told him Id be there for him as a friend.. Im so hurt, my feelings have taken over my entire body and soul..

Please provide some insight, I need it very bad