Nothing is more frustrating than expecting something from someone who has nothing to give ~Melody Beattie~
Your boyfriend is probably incapable of treating you like gold, but you still deserve someone who will.
Don't give up on the meetings. I promise you that not one person there will judge you. You may be surprised to see someone there just like you, who has been where you are and who will share how she found peace. That's just how it works.
Hugs