You don't sound stupid or ********, although he may try to convince you that you are in order to cover his tracks.
Sweetie, we know what we know, we don't have to prove anything to anyone. Your concern is valid and your instincts won't lie to you.
What matters most here is how you want to spend the rest of your life? With someone who lies, cheats and commits crimes?
I think you deserve much better than this. Have you tried any meetings? They may help you find your self-esteem again, they may help you see that you are not insane, you are just living in an insane situation...I know because I have lived there too.
Hugs