I was married to an addict and was too young and naive to know it at the time. He also didn't do drugs at home - so that was one reason I didn't know about it. When I found some in the garage he laughed at me and called me 'stupid' for being upset saying he had been using for many years, long before we were married.
He would take weekend trips with his friends and later it got to the point that he wouldn't even bother to tell me he was going. He was very jealous and everytime he left me for someone else they used drugs with him too. I guess they were more fun than I was lol!!!
I grew up in poverty and we had a nice home, nice auto, and I knew I could not provide for my 2 children with my clerical job.
MY bottom was when he left me for a skank he had picked up hitch hicking. I was 4 months pregnant with complications and he left me. After the baby was born he wanted us to start over, but in no time he was back to staying out with his friends again. And I'm sure the skanks too!
I started to think about the marriage (I loved the person I had married very much):
1) I took the children to and from daycare, doc visits etc.
2) I did all of the house choirs, cooking, grocery shopping
3) I was the one staying at home with the children while he partied and took vacations with other women.
4) I was treated more like his mother than his wife
I was in counseling and it wasn't so good back then, no online forums, but I knew I could not continue with this life style. Then he was fired from his job for selling drugs form the company truck. He spent all of our savings and cashed in our insurance and partied full time. My checks were bouncing and I opened an account in my name and somehow he started taking money from my account. Our home was repossessed and I had 2 small children to raise and support.
When he found out I wanted a divorce he was more abusive than he had been before. I had to call the police many times - he told me he would kill me and I believe he would have.
Fate is amazing! He got into a bar fight with a group of bikers and rather than be killed he fled from Florida to Utah. I found this out when the police came looking for him - and that he was in Utah when he was put in jail there. They called me, he wanted to come home so we could ' work things out'. I very politely told the person calling 'thanks but no thanks'. It had been 2 peaceful years and there was no way in hell I was getting back together.
Then months later his mother, SIL, and sister show up on my doorstep with him. He loves me and wants to come back home. I told them in front of him that he was sleeping with whores and I was lucky I didn't catch a disease. He still tried moving back in and the last time they locked him up he called ME collect from the jail. No thanks, then I found out he had been living with another woman all this time and they were suppossed to be married. He had told her I was his sister and keeping his kids lol!!!!
My regret was staying with him when he continued to treat me like trash because I wanted my children to have a better life. My self esteem was at an all time low.
It was not easy but I have 2 master degrees now and retired with a good pension. After 20 years of being a single parent I met a wonderful man that treats me very well.
My marriage started out well and I didn't realize at the time he had a drug problem, and it only got worse. I'm not saying yours will, but take care of yourself and your baby.
Please start counseling ( the drama, lies, and manipulation that goes along with the drugs is so draining) and put some money into an account he doesn't know about. Get training for a job. My family was a little shocked because I was too embarrassed to tell people how he treated me. But as Amy said, you need to find a place to go in an emergency.
Blessing to you and yours!