Peter G

Up there, quoted... in red... bolded... ummm, seriously?

I digress. That lame excuse for the inevitable, eventual benders was one of my all time favorites actually. "She's a right owly b!tch tonight, so I'm getting $h!tfaced!" Often it went from that to "Screw it. Why do I care if no one else does?" Awesome stuff right there. Hell, if everyone here at SR put together a Greatest Hits CD package, your rationale would be right up there with "What's The Point", and "When Life Starts Sucking, I Start Drinking". Sing along if you want.

IMHO you're not really grasping all the facts about this thing yet mate, and I don't say that with any judgment attached or ill will. I was there at one point also. Most of us were I dare say. Thing is; your sobriety - as well as your drinking - has absolutely nothing to do with the other people in your life. Don't get me wrong, they often make for the best relapse excuses, but quite simply you don't drink because of them, and you don't NOT drink because of them. You drink because you're an alcoholic. And now you DON'T drink because you're an alcoholic. See how that works? God forbid you had kept drinking long enough that nobody was crazy enough or willing to stay in your life anymore. Therein you would fully appreciate how getting sober is still the exact same requirement for health and sanity, absent anyone around to muck up your best laid plans.

Sobriety has to be something you need for your own sanity and health, and not usually achieved from lofty ideals of family support, or any amount of unconditional love and understanding from your significant others. Applying those conditions to your sobriety is just a nice set of fail-safe trap doors for that next bender. I mean yeah, it certainly would help - if you happen to be the luckiest alcoholic on earth - but otherwise it's a fantasy. Hell, for some of us we come to sobriety while simultaneously hoping our wives/husbands aren't waiting to drop a piano on our heads from some of the crazy and tragic $h!t we've done.

This is all about you mano. Full stop. You have to want and need this thing even in the complete and total absence of any loved one's support, approval, or otherwise.

I'd also add what others have said here; meetings are not AA... the 12 steps, guided by a competent sponsor is what truly makes AA work, and what makes the program effective at helping you NOT need to drink. Meetings are there to augment the work and provide a fellowship and some support. If you miss a meeting here and there, it's like many have already said, make your own meeting. Come here and start threads - answer other threads. Chat at intherooms.com. Ask questions. Call your sponsor. Listen to some speaker tapes. Read the Big Book. Whatever it takes amigo.

Is your wife being unreasonable? Sure, from a certain perspective. You're newly sober and your hold on the entire concept is still tenuous. Should she be more understanding of this, knowing the way the program works? That's on her to figure out, certainly not on you to point it out. Should her actions make one bit of a difference to your program? Absolutely not. You've got bigger fish to fry.

Ummm, sorry bro, but she didn't put you in this position. You put yourself in the position of arguing over meetings the moment you drank yourself into needing them in the first place.

Best quote I ever heard at one point in my life... This Too Shall Pass. Don't get caught up in anything right now, just breathe. Hell you are only 23 days sober. Take a few minutes and go look your kids square in the eyes. What looks back at you is all the support you'll ever need.