So after breaking things off with my "R" ExAB 6 weeks ago I was able not to see him but NO CONTACT was a big challenge for some reason. I asked my HP for help and I got it. My EXAB sent a series of mean and manipulative texts followed by nice texts and even a Valentines card.
All of this happened today after I spoke to his mom on the phone. I needed to clear the air with her as to why I have avoided invitations to her home. She's a wonderful very honest woman and I couldn't bare going along with his web of lies and lie to her face. I shared with her the truth about what has been going in and made it clear I wasn't calling to bash her son but to make amends with her for my hurtful avoidance behavior. So this is when I found out that she knew NOTHING. About anything. His alcoholism, him going into AA etc.
According to my ExAB he's on the 9 th steps (amends) and he wrote me that he flew to see her in Super Bowl weekend to make amends with her. Clearly he did it his way by lying to her face telling her that we were doing well and the only issue was his sleep apena.
This plus his series of texts telling me that I'm not ready for him and I should be proud of him for being on the 9 th step as this takes many addicts years. Basically it's my issue that I only see the bad in him and that he's doing so well despite all the times I supposedly told him he couldn't do it. HA quite the opposite I've been encouraging, begging, cheer leading or him to get help for more than a year. I never said he couldn't do it.
Thanks for reading. I'm partly venting..looking for support and validation. I still feel hurt angry and a bit fragile. I'm allowing his words to doubt my self. Is he really 100% in recovery and I'm only seeing black? I don't think so but my mind is a bit twisted right now.
