Thank you all so much for the feedback.
I think right now I have detached in desperation. I am completely fed up with her choices and determined to get myself out of my self imposed hell I choose when I let myself get sucked into the chaos and drama.
I have had almost limitless compassion and patience over the past few years for everyone but me. I usually push through issues at warp speed and I think I just need to learn to be patient with myself. I keep having to remind myself that my emotions right now are justified and a normal response to the situation. I can't rush working through them or allow myself to be pressured into decisions I am not ready to make.
That said, this situation has set off many childhood triggers and is really messing with my head.