Thing is, I think you are right, he is doing what he's already been doing in the past. It's not going to change. We've been married almost 9 yrs by the way.
And I really should paint a clear picture here. On the weekends we do tons of things together. Tonight is gym and out to dinner. Tomorrow is a flamenco/dinner show. Sunday he works but afterwards it's dinner out. That's a normal weekend for us. And then there's the countless outings during the week for special stuff: Theater plays, movies, events.
I know I'm being overly sensitive. We just had lunch. It's his day off and so he comes to my office, we have a long, leisurely lunch and then he goes off to study until I can finish up work. We talked about this stuff and things are all good between us again.
The dinner thing, well, I need to initiate this. I'm the cook, so I'm the one dictating where we are eating. From now on, it's going to be the kitchen table.
I have been dismissing the Serenity prayer lately, mainly because I'm so not religious and dislike the god part. But if you ignore the god section, the rest actually is quite true. Annoying! LOL.
Originally Posted by
rochele 
Well, I am sure I drank to fill the void of dh being off on his computer, ignoring me.
Lost I get what you are saying and I hope you can find quality time together.
There is some validity to the expectation that partners should want to spend some time together, no? I mean, why else get married and be partnered?
So, I am not sure you are being unreasonable to expect your dh to have a meal with you for 30 minutes now and again. Goodness!
For me, I feel needy, but I am needy. I am lonely. I do not enjoy sitting alone in the house when my parner is home as well(and not busy with work) doing something instead of being with me. I pretty much have given up the fight.
He is a good father, and a decent friend at times, but not attentive as a husband. It was always a bit of an issue. These things do not change. Trust me. Sobering up means reevaluating alot of life. This is a painful part of it for me.
Good luck with it on your end, Lost. I am not sure hoe long you have been married, but if it is fairly young, try to work out some good habits of scheduling some time for one-another. I think we cannot take that for granted. i think we have gone too far down that road in my 18 year marriage. Just not sure we can get that spark back. I hope you can.