Some of the sites have virtual home tours, and some don't...but they all have pictures of each part of the house, the yard, etc., so we can narrow it down a bit.
We did put an offer on a house that we were so sure would be perfect for us in the area we're looking at, but due to paperwork technicalities, someone outbid us even after we had a verbal agreement.
We've seen some fixer-up homes that we could have afforded, but as you mentioned, I'm somewhat reluctant to go that route. I think my husband and I are on the same page with that one...he's willing to do some things within reason, but not so much that we will be uncomfortable until we get everything done.
I think it just helps him to feel validated when I agree to go look at some homes at least once or twice a month, as circumstances allow.
So, there's really no reason that I can't compromise a bit more on the issue.
Yes, I would like to have just one weekend this month where we're not having company over for the weekend or looking at houses, but I feel like he does deserve to have that little peace of mind, even if we're just looking.
Gosh, I'm sorry that you had that experience, Bill. I often think about such things myself, and I'm glad that you made it through, and told your family that you loved them before that happened.
Tonight, after some bickering and feeling pretty peeved because of the housework I've needed to catch up on, my husband helped me a bit with some baby-proofing and cleaning while his mom babysat for a couple of hours (there are just some things around the house that I can't get done while I'm watching my son, and it's easy for things to get really messy with a nine month-old running around...my son stands, crawls, climbs, is starting to walk, etc.).
At the end of the night, I talked to him while he was going to sleep and told him how much I appreciated his help and all of the consideration he gives to me (which is a lot, in the "little things" department), and that I love him.
So, all in all, we seem to have our nice household back in order, some compromises have been made, and the resentment and hostility seems to have gone its way.
Some days are better than others, and you're right--forgiving the stupid and petty issues is really important when you have a good thing, and if a compromise can be found, it's better to go with that than to sit stubbornly and expect others to do everything our way (or *my* way, as the case may be).
I had a poor time trying to keep my control issues under wraps tonight, but tomorrow is another day, and I was successful in telling my husband how much I appreciate him, apologizing where necessary, validating his feelings, and telling him how much I love him.
I am so thankful for this forum...it just gives me a great sounding board for all my inner turmoil, and really helps me to see things from a clearer perspective.
Thanks again to all of you.