Spilled the beans
Well, I've lurked on this forum for years and I'm finally ready to make my first post!
I'll make the back story brief: been with ABF for 8 years, 2 kids, he's drank heavily for about the last 5 years.
He's in a 60 day inpatient rehab for the first time right now and has been there for about 3 weeks. This is the first time he's sought any kind of treatment (he went on his own).
So yesterday we did this thing where we do a conference call. I'm on the phone with him and his councilor and he's not allowed to say anything and I'm to say what he's like when he's drinking and how it affects me and the kids. Then he goes and reflects and whatever other stuff they do there.
Here's MY problem, I purposely spilled the beans about "extra" substances he was using before he left for rehab during this call. He's a very scary person when he's under the influence and I find myself feeling guilty and scared because I said something. Guilty because I told someone "outside" our circle and therefore betrayed him somehow, and scared because I'm worried he's mad. I'm also worried I messed with his recovery by saying something before he did.
My anxiety is through the roof and he's on the other side of the country!
I thought I would feel better after this call by getting some things off my chest while he's sober but I feel terrible!
Just want to know if anyone else has ever done something similar or felt like this and how they got over it.
I need your words of wisdom SR!