Thanks for that. Once again, I so much of your situation in mine - it's scary. I can relate to the "zombie" period. It lasted a long time - probably close to two months. I've been on this board for a few weeks and it has saved me from doing many things that would have been detrimental to my moving forward.
He said that I was the one who had a problem with alcohol - not him - so I went into counselling! I realize now, from reading the posts, that this is not my issue and that I do not want to repeat this in a new relationship. My last two relationships have had alcohol issues and I know that I can't put up with it. Thank you for sharing with me, it reinforces that I'm not alone. I have wonderful friends but they don't understand the dynamics of the relationship and keep saying things like, "Good riddance", "He's a loser", "You will find someone new and better", etc. etc. I know they mean well but they really don't understand.