Originally Posted by jessieandme2003
he'd call me needing me because he misses me and still thinks of me, saying heloves only me and calls his new girlfriend my name. Pushes at my buttons, but this time I don't fall for it. Sometimes a flood of emotion, yes, but about the fantasy I had about how it could be. I now know with him it would never be a reality. Besides, on the next call he may be mean or indifferent, especially if I am calling him about money he owes or legal stuff.
But he always, and I mean ALWAYS, asked and still asks me about my seeing a guy. Am I sleeping with him? Stuff like that. Almost obsessive about it.
Wow! I couldn't believe when I read your reply, Jessie! These are the exact words I have heard! And it is about the fantasy I fall back into every once in a while. I think about the good times and somehow seem to put the bad to the back of my mind.
The control issue totally makes sense and that is why I was angry at myself...because I felt that I really had control over my emotions and the situation and I let him gain control back. I was a stark-raving lunatic on the phone lastnight with him and I felt horrible and weak after that rampage!
With me, he made the decision to leave which sometimes makes it all the more confusing for me in terms of his behaviour. He wanted this and he will still use his manipulation tactics and I will still respond to them. I need to break the cycle. I still care for him and that's why it's tough to be hard-nosed with him. How can I do that without feeling guilty? I know it's crazy! He's the one who walked away and I feel guilty??!!