Ditto what Anna said. You have to want it more than anything. I went back & forth for 1-2 yrs, relapsing b/c there was a little part of me that didn't want to stop. Oh, I needed to, I knew I had to, everything was falling apart. It was a miserable downward spiral.
But one day after being sick & tired of being sick & tired. Of trying & failing, I finally wanted it bad enough. I wasn't scared, anymore that I could never drink again. I didnt care about booze. I wanted to be sober, more than anything. I'm willing to feel pain, despair, anxious, anger, etc. so long as I never drink again b/ c I know it could've cost me dearly. And I was tired of punishing myself. I've been sober 24 days. It's not alot, but my resolve is still strong. I will not let a liquid destroy my life. I want sobriety like I need air.