Thank you Giving, Smoke and Magic! I was supposed to attend my first meeting this past Monday and ended up sick. I also had to quit an intense exercise "boot camp" run by the military this week because I was sick - that was the one thing that was supposed to take my mind off of this situation and laying around sick was the worst thing for me. It gave me the time to think WAYYYY too much - unhealthy stuff. I don't want to be his door mat anymore and I won't let him. It's exhausting! I still need someone, once in a while, to whisper in my ear how toxic this relationship was!