((Green Eyes))
I know how you feel. Like a yoyo (am I close?) I had to learn that when I let something in my life go that is unhealthy (a relationship, a behavior) I have to replace it with something else. If I don't, I will fill that void with something, usually unhealthy. Getting a support group, like Al-Anon, helped me to fill the voids that were in my life. It was the healthy starting point that I needed to begin to find healing and wholeness.
You don't have to try to do this alone. I don't know about you, but I found it impossible to do it alone. Reaching out here is a good start. There is a lot of support and caring here. Personally, I needed A LOT more. There is no shame in needing help, but somehow we feel we should be able to do this alone. I know today that I am not supposed to do it alone. There is a reason that I was led to Al-Anon, and these forums. The healing that I have recieved is what I was longing for all my life. There was no one in my life to show me how. Al-Anon showed me how.
To find a meeting in your area,
http://www.al-anon-alateen.org/english.html and select "How to locate a meeting." Hugs, Magic