Washbe2, I just read your posts, and I'm ever amazed at how many other's just like me are in this world. My AS does the same things to me, and I'm trying very hard to distance. The chaos, the insanity of it all, the constant drama and everpresent emergencies. I know it drains your emotional energy, so yes, you are to be commended to holding up for the wedding day!
I think our addicts use phone contact (or texts, email) like a steel umbilical cord. Or maybe more like a leash. We're expected to respond immediately to a call, text or email. I've started turning my cell phone off quite often. And I'm considering having both my cell, home number, and husband's cell number all changed, unlisted, and not giving AS our numbers. That may be the next step for me, I don't know yet.
The 'letting go' is so hard. Intellectually I am trying to do it, but my heart hangs on. I know my faith is weak, and I pray for strength often, and I pray for help in the letting go.I have another son (who is not an addict) who needs me, and who has taken a back seat, so to speak, for pretty much his whole life because of his addict brother. I'm now starting to focus more on my non-addict son, my husband, and myself.
I'll say a prayer for you tonight. ****{hugs}}}