Thanks again for all of your replies! Today is my 36th day sober, and I'm feeling okay.
Originally Posted by
sugarbear1 
Do you have plans to stop the excuses and stay stopped? Got a doctor appointment? Got a program chosen? If it were purely willpower, many of us would have stopped long ago. The more we drink, the more fear & anxiety is masked, then it eventually must be released...
In all honesty Sugarbear, the answer is no. I have been attending meetings, and I am going to book an appointment with my doctor next week for a liver test (as my enzymes were raised last time I checked which was over a year ago).
The fear and anxiety has subsided and though I obviously feel tempted, as I did at a funeral last week, I have resisted it so far. I am fully aware that one drink will lead to a binge, and I'm even having nightmares in which I have a drink and return to my old ways.
Having gone five weeks I am now more confident and more resolute than I have ever been since I realised I was an alcoholic. But I am not complacent, and appreciate that this is an internal struggle I may well face for the rest of my life.
Thanks again everybody.