a great topic! thanks.
Yes, i too was a 40 something "teenager" when i got sober. And coping skills did not come in one whole piece in one fellswoop. Mostly they came thru TIME- the time spent doing the steps so that i be exposed to the HOW of the program - Honesty Open mindedness and Willingness.
The Surrender so that i no longer had to do the insanity and could finally access a power outside myself to give me the help i wanted/needed.
And then to get a grip on all those blockages [character defects, if you will] that hitherto had been the stumbling blocks in my interpersonal relationships.
So i got some humility and got some help in relating to others and then i got a method to repeat those skills on a daily basis and .... sure nuff.... it worked.
I am a muscle memory kind of guy- can't think my way to a new way of acting but i sure can act my way to a new way of thinking