Gracey,
No trouble here. Get it out. My M always looks worn out from dealing with my F. I wish she would smile more and frown less. I wish she would relax instead of looking so anxious but I can't change those things for her. She for so many reasons, more than I will ever know I'm sure, continues to add years to the 40 she has been married to this man.
She still lies to him about things to keep the peace. I wonder how much more energy my mother would have if she didn't have to expend it trying to keep things calm. It is easy to get sucked back in when we are tired. The old AA slogan HALT
Hungry
Angry
Lonely
Tired
is usually when I am most susceptible to getting sucked back into the crazy. I was like your daughter, didn't let people know that it really hurt me, deeply, that my F would ignore us, he'd ask us how our day went and we would always give the same answer (like we'd tell the truth?!?!? Uhhh we're the "pretend everything is okay" family - who the heck is going to say they had a bad day. B/C is surely wasn't as bad as his....
I'm getting off track. Your daughter has told you what is true to her -
.......Ashley stated at the counselor that she doesnt want to do anything with him.........
I paid a high price for my M & F's codependence. A payment that continues to be withdrawn from my emotional bank everyday but only if I let it. My husband made a wonderful observation about his F, which applies to mine as well, "you can't expect to make a withdrawl from something that you never make a deposit into".
All I have to offer except you are asking lots of good questions. Please let us know what answers you come to.
Peace,
Petunia