Originally Posted by
zoso77 
Just remember: the addict is capable of both incredible self pity and unfathomable ugliness and can swap between the two at warp speed.
Wouldnt the world be a sweet place, if only addicts and recovery addicts had this trait....unfortunately that is not the case.
I think its quite possible that after 5 months of his recovery; AH does feel guilt and remorse. What we see on this forum is only a snapshot of the interaction between a couple.
But, he has to back up his feelings of regret with action in an attempt to make ammends to his family, and earn back trust, etc.
If he is not doing this, then you need to point that out to him.
There is no timetable for forgiveness; no right or wrong. Sometimes it never happens. But if you want to forigve and you want to rebuild; then I think you have to take action on your part also.
My BF relapsed, had a one night stand, and od'd all in one night - last Dec.
Ive dealt with all of it but the cheating. I have forgiven him; I wont go into my thought process because we each have our own. He is doing his absolute best to re-earn my trust; but as a partner in the relationship I have to also figure out what I need from him and express that.
Im sure you have a lot of pain, and your right - he needs to know that and to experience his own pain related to how his actions hurt you.
So really my only suggestion is that you try to openly communicate with him on a daily basis, and actively work it through the issues.
If your already doing this, then just stay strong and carry on.
Hugs,
kel