Didn't let it show, but I felt sorry for him.
Last night my AH wanted "to talk" about how I was feeling about everything.
He said he thought that I still had a wall up towards him. He said he was hoping that our relationship would have moved a little further along than what it has. He feels as though I may never forgive him. (Little back ground: AH is 5 months clean from pills after using for 10+ yrs)
Then he started the "no one loves me I am a failure and i have messed up all of our lives" bit.
He was all over the place! Started to play the blame game and at one point he tried to point his finger at me saying "well you drink too" LOL oh boy that was a real reach!!! I only drink maybe one time a month like 2 drinks socially. What the heck is he saying . .
I stayed calm and let him talk. I put my 2 cent in and clarified my feelings when I needed to, but the whole conversation really just felt like him venting. I guess he has a right to vent.
I do have to say though I felt sorry for him just a little. He has alot of growing to do as I do too, but the growing pains are still hard. I also felt really mad though that he was confronting me about still "having a wall up". Apparently he thinks I should have already forgot about everything we have gone through and I am suppose to majically fall back in love with him. I mean what a joke. I really wanted to yell and scream but I didn't.
We ended the conversation "I think" with just the understanding that we are both just trying to work on us and that it just takes time. He asked me for a hug and we both cried.
I feel bad for him and i have had some moments that I have wanted to just stuff my feelings and smile and say everything will be ok (rescue him) They only last a sec though and then i recognize them. He needs to recognize what drugs have done to our family and feel his pain just like I need to do the same.
When he says things like "why is it taking you so long to get over this" and making a crazy statement like "well you drink too" it makes me think he has not gotten real with his addiction and does not understand just how hurtful this has all been. What do you guys think?