Three weeks ago, my now ex AGF dumped me via text message for another guy in the program. Ten days prior to that, she wanted to marry me. Messed up, huh? I've forced myself to give up trying to understand how mercurial addicts can be. I do believe, however, your BF was right when he said he had nothing to give. He, like my ex, operates from an emotional deficit and his eyes only look in one direction: inward. At this moment in time, he is not capable of gratitude. Nor is he is not capable of empathy. Yes, it's frustrating for you, as it was for me.
I'm very pleased that you are in Al Anon. That's a strong move. As far as "hope" for him, here's my take.
You have to understand that whether you're in his life or not, he's going to do what's he's going to do. So, as best you can, you have accept that and detach with love, as they say. In my case, it's a little easier than yours because I have no desire to have her back. But I still pray for her every day, asking God to protect her and keep her safe. Believe it or not, that helps. I would also pay very close attention to what you hear in Al Anon. Our feelings are our feelings. And, yes, the pain of losing someone is awful. But it's not going to kill us. If anything, I would look at this as an opportunity for you to strengthen yourself and do things for you that you ordinarily wouldn't do. And when in doubt, go back and read the sticky called "What Addicts Do". Because that's what you're up against.
So, pray for him. Feel compassion in your heart for him. Understand that you're going to have good days and not-so-good days. And, somehow, keep moving forward. Believe it or not (and it's hard to believe sometimes), you're going to be OK.