Welcome Landofoz, sorry for your situation but glad you found us.
Here at SR and through Nar-anon you will find the support and help you need. It's going to take time but soon you will learn that she needs to work her recovery, and YOU need to work your own recovery.
I am glad you went to some NA meetings it's good for you to see and here the stories. But it is best to allow her to go alone, she will share more open and honestly without you there. You should seek out Nar-anon for yourself. I attend Nar-anon at a place where my son attends NA in another room at the same time, It has helped us both and we look forward to the meetings. I always leave the meeting feeling better and with a new outlook on life.
Don't let the addiction control you. Set boundaries, and put them in writing. This disease is hers, and only she can get herself out of it. No matter what you do she is going to do what she wants, until she is ready.
Thanks for sharing, keep posting and reading.