This is domestic violence and it is likely to escalate.
The people in your group either do not have all the information or they are pretty sick and you need a new group. Detaching means to not rescue the addict, to refuse to take responsibility in any way for the addict's behavior and chaos.
But your situation is one of domestic violence and no one should be advising you to do anything but get away from him.
Many here at SR have been in your circumstances and they will be along to help you with feedback.
You are not trapped, but the longer you stay with him you will begin to feel certain you are. So please, dear, get away.