I'm sorry!!! All I can suggest is to make sure you stand firm to the rules and consequences established before he came home. Is laundry part of the rules? If not I wouldn't worry about it. Eventually he'll get sick of having dirty clothes and will decide for himself it's time to do laundry. I know it's hard to not let him push your buttons but I think you did well! The family room is for the family, if he wants privacy he can go to his room. If he'd rather not have his computer and Xbox if they're in the living room I'm sure that can be arranged.. His choice.
Say what you mean, mean what you say but don't say it meanly.
Stay firm mamma!