Another Welcome Gertrude
Gertrude, the most important thing in your life right now is your sobriety. If you want it, then you must be willing to go to any lengths to get it. But you CAN live a very happy, loving, fulfilling life without the use of or need for alcohol. Life without alcohol is not dull!
We're alcoholics when we discover that we can't live without alcohol and we can't live with it. We wake up to the fact that every time something goes bad, it's alcohol related.
Like everyone else has suggested, please go to lots of meetings. Do lots of listening... and please listen for the similarities rather than the differences.
I hope you'll get a sponsor quickly. Even a temporary one will be a big help.
I joined AA 25 years ago and in the early months of my sobriety I thought I had it all together and was instantly cured. As time went on I realized that I was still getting rid of the cobwebs in my head and that recovery is one day at a time and my progress is based on how much effort I put into practicing the AA principles.
If you stay away from the first drink and work the 12 steps of AA, you will experience the Promises. But if you take that first drink, you won't know step 1 from step 14.
Please keep coming back here to share... you help me, too.