Thank you all in for your words , and know that I really do take what you say to heart.
That being stated, I know that me being sober today is a miracle. Last night I did my laundry, cooked myself dinner, and just stuff to keep my mind off things. Then I woke up today with all the worries of yesterday and all the upcoming things i'm going to have to deal with just weighing me down. I know drinking is not the answer. My problems will be there and seem a million times worse when I sober up. Sometimes it just feels like doing this one day/hour/minute at a time is SO MUCH WORK. Does it get easier?
I'm deeply in debt, I currently hate my job, my dad is getting progressively more sick, the rest of the members of my family are just bad, bad people, and all of my co-workers keep asking me whats wrong and if i'm ok and i have the irresistble urge to throw things at them. I'm going to stop whining now. I know that my problems are trivial compared to so many people, and I have to stop feeling sorry for myself.
I need to go outside and scream.