I don't mean to offend, but it seems that you are feeling the hurt right now and my thoughts go out to you. It is temporary if you choose it to be so (which sounds like B.S... I know).
But if you've went the route of trying to quit a few times or you've gotten really plastered and are feeling that 'guilt or misplacement thing' it sucks and seems hopeless. I know I tended to get a fake philosophical mindset of being really small, what's the point, I wouldn't be missed, this is me and how it ends, I want out, etc...). Which is of course much different than the early days when the philosophical feelings where those of sophistication and an expansion of awareness (all B.S. of course). At some point it all changed.
I'm not a religious person myself. I don't go to church or anything. I don't really believe in anything institutional since I'm more of a science/logic guy. Again no offensive jabs to those that do. I think there is something out there, but I haven't been able to see the whole picture yet. I myself came to the point that I didn't like what I was becoming because things weren't working anymore and you only get so much time. The drink was my muse and ambition for many years until it cut me off at the knees. Great medication while it lasted (or so I thought). For me, no AA. Mostly medical documentation, a desire to be a better man for my family, lurking SR, and never wanting to detox again (which for me was a doozy).
Don't give up on SR. Take the gems you see in posts that can help you in a positive way and ignore the things that compete with your sensibilities. Tomorrow you might feel a little different. Three days from now you might be a different person entirely. I haven't looked at your past posts but I assume you know the drill on detox, doctors, tapering, and all that good stuff. At least keep lurking if you don't post! I know it has helped me.