Hey Wino5, I hope you are feeling a bit better today. Booze has a way of distorting things out of proportion. My life was in the toilet but today I've got seven months of sobriety. My problems became a lot easier to deal with once I quit dicking around with that stuff. Alcohol is like a spiritual blindfold. We can't see the beauty surrounding us until we remove it. While it's on, all we see is blackness and then we think the world is hopeless. It's not - that's just the material covering our eyes. What's keeping you from taking it off today, right now? It is completely within your power to do so. People dumber than you have done it, as my mom says. What are you waiting for?