Good morning to you Inda and thank you for the post.
I was just a shell of a human being too. Inside that shell was guilt, shame, self-pity, self-condemnation,loathing. It was an absolutely horrible existence. But I am so glad I went through it, because I needed it to get to where I am today. Without all that garbage I wouldn't have the motivation to become the person that I want to be. Our past can become our greatest asset to someone else who is suffering.
Have an awesome day!
God bless.