Originally Posted by
paigemc 
I'm just wondering if I'll know when its over? When is the right time to leave? When do I give up? I am married and I don't want to look back and think I walked away too soon? But I also don't want to regret not leaving 5 years from now. I know no one can tell me what to do.....I'm just looking for a little guidance in what the signs might be.
Someone, early on when I came on here told me that when you start asking when do you know it's time to leave that you already know it's time to leave and are looking for someone to tell you what you already know.
But philosophic statements aside, signs it's time to leave: A lot of what you say in this post alone says to me that it's time...
"his needs come first" (and he doesn't respect your wishes)
"he hasn't asked if he can do anything to repair our relationship" (you're here, like the rest of us, sad that your r/s isn't working-- is he concerned about that? nope)
also you talk about not wanting to wish in 5 yrs that you had left. i think in your gut you know that's what is best but are holding out hope that something might change. i've been there. you don't have to decide anything this instant. just keep posting and i know for me, realizing how my kids were being impacted (the silent strain even when there was no fighting was palpable and unbearable and the difference in my kids since AH left is night and day) was what pushed me to do what i had to.
Just to sum up things.....we've been sleeping separately for two weeks since his last drinking episode when he came home drunk after I asked several times that he not come home if he intended to drink. He said he just "didn't want to be away from his family". His needs came first and he climbed in the bed smelling like he rolled around in the damn bonfire! I have since informed him that aside from living in the same house for the time being I have nothing left for him. We barely speak. But he hasn't asked if he can do anything to repair our relationship. I'm pretty sure he's just riding it out.