Originally Posted by
tjp613 
zoso -- this all just happened a few days ago! You are doing amazingly well, but give yourself some time to grieve and feel the feelings associated with that. I wish it were as easy as deleting a few photographs and blocking numbers, but it's a much longer process than that. Everyone's different, but when I'm going thru a particulary rough patch I do things like go to church more often, meditate, read, re-connect with old friends and commune with nature. Just do more of what works for you and continue working on that compassion and forgiveness. Yes, there will be waves of anger and hositility but they will subside. (((Hugs)))
What amazes me is her utter lack of self awareness.
2011 was, in short, a nightmare that touched every aspect of my own life: graduate school, my career, my relationships with other people in my life. And it doesn't even faze her, for example, that I've had to put off my last two courses in graduate school. It doesn't faze her that I've had to miss time from work to deal with her various crisises. And if I'm wrong and she is aware, then she simply doesn't care.
And that's what angers me the most. There is no acknowledgement, or gratitude, for what was a good faith effort on my part. And there never will be because she simply isn't capable. Her eyes only look in one direction: inward.
In one way, I'm so relieved she's gone because I can now return to the things in my life that matter to me without distraction. On the other hand, though, I'm empty. Does that make sense?