My EXAB is sober but no different very confused
Hi
First let me say thank you to all who post as this forum has been a great help to me since I found it two days ago.
My EXAB and u were together for 2years and knew each other 1 year before dating. I ended things for real 3 weeks ago. Meaning I actually followed though and I haven't seen him and only have spoken to him once. Yea for me!
I'm so confused and maybe you can offer some insight. My EXAB stopped drinking 7 months ago and was in AA. It was a roller coaster ride of promises, love, lies, rejection, anger, passion, kindness, meaness, more lies...
After he quit drinking (side note: he also prior to meeting me was a pill addict of any kind fom oxytocin to ambien to anything anyone had) and was in AA he was better for a week and then it was the exact same person just toned down a notch or two without slurring. He was still extremely selfish, a liar about everything from what he ate to whether I woke him up or not. Bottom line no freakin difference without the booze or pills. After about 3 months of being "sober" I has a bad cold and went in fridge to get some prescription strength cough syrup and the consistency was like water versus being thick. At first I thought maybe it went bad as I had it for a long time. So I shook the bottle and tried some and gee it also tasted like water.
Without going into all of the details. I did confront him he lied whie looking right in my eyes with total conviction no flinching. Finally I said you don't need to lie or even sy anything I know the truth and so do you. He started crying and being the good little Codie I felt bad for him. SO since then he claims to have been 100% sober. By the way he had taken that cough syrup 3 week prior to me finding it and didn't loose any sleep over it, met with his sponsor and went to AA meetings and none of them knew either.
OK so his behavior was great for a week and then back to the same old pattern except it seemed like he was lying less but who knows. So if he's really working the program why is the behavior pattern still the same? Seems really weird to me. I just don't get it. Or maybe I'm not seeing something. Some guidance PLEASE.