Welcome, You found the right place ! We all know your pain so well.
He is right he is messed up right now and he needs to work on himself. Nothing you do will fix him he has to do it. It seams he realizes that and is going to need time to work on himself. You need to let go and let God. It is hard I know, meanwhile see if you can go to some Nar-anon meetings and work on you. If it is truly meant to be he will be back, hopefully clean and ready to be a father and husband he needs to be. The hardest thing to realize is they must go through this on there own, nothing we say or do will help them. This is there disease to deal with alone.
Keep reading and posting were here for you.
Sending strength and prayers.