When I walked away from my EXAH, I thought my biggest problem was solved.
I was wrong. No matter where I went, I was the first one to get there, and there I was!
I was carrying a big load of baggage around behind me, and continued to do so for 11 long miserable years.
Every relationship was dysfunctional at best. You see, I would compare each one to EXAH and think...well he's not a convicted felon, or he's not violent, or he doesn't do drugs, yada yada yada.
As Laurie mentioned I attracted people whose insides were like my own.
I had done no work on my codependency and resulting issues in those 11 years.
Once I hit a codependent bottom and resolved to have no more relationships or date until I got healthy inside, I started making progress.
Alanon, the book "Codependent No More", and lots of therapy have helped me tremendously on my journey.
Sending you hugs of support.
