Originally Posted by
jwolf 
How can I get past this??? How can I feel normal at night again with out the poison? I feel like I am in mourning or something.
In all our Reality and Your reality you are Mourning.
I don't know about you but my Disease (Addiction / Alcoholism) was my best friend (or so I thought) for all of my life. When we finally see that our relationship is over, it is no different than a relationship with a spouse or anything else. It is a disaster and we feel terrible.
Just don't let those feelings take you back out. This is your Chance (no pun intended) to shine like a star and show others how to get through the darkest of days and nights.