(((quetzal))) - I, too, went through grief with ex's even though they were pretty dysfunctional and could not be the person I wanted them to be, nor give me what I wanted.
The good news is, we get through it. Be gentle with yourself, grieve, and keep on doing what you need to do to get through this time. Busy is good, but there were times I just needed to cry, write out a list of why he was NOT good for me, and then cry again.
Hugs and prayers,
Amy