I have no advice, but can tell you how it happened to me:
In 1980 I let my addictions drive me away from my high school sweetie, my wife, the woman who was true soul-mate. I set off on a pitty-pot runner geographic half way around the world.
In spite of my best thinking, I got clean/sober in 86. I promptly went about making amends to those in my life, including my ex every time I came back to the 'states.'
My sponsor said to give up ever being back with my love, to move on, get over it and get on with life. I did as instructed and spent years in several BAD and very dysfunctional relationships. I probably sub-consciously picked losers because they were not my lost love, or I'm truly AFU, it doesn't matter. Some people learn slower and harder than others.
I had spent years making a wreck of my life and it It took a while to clear enough of that wreckage away to see what needed fixing.
A few years ago I totally gave up on being happy and left being single in My H/P's hands where it should have been all along. Not long after that and against all odds she came back into my life. We were married again a few years ago and happy ending so-far.
Moral of the story:
It took years to repair the wreckage of my past life. It took me FAR TOO LONG to realize I had to leave it in my H/P's hands, not mine.