gracey - i don't have kids so i can't speak from experience. i would still want my kids to have some chores, just for the sake of learning responsbility and juggling many things (just like in the adult world). if your ah wants a chore list, let HIM make one up - then maybe it will be to his liking!
i feel the same way about cleaning - it's easier to do it myself, but lately i have left some of the cleaning (like my ah bathroom) up to him - i don't mess it therefore i am not cleaning it - and it shows, but just one of my baby steps at not "doing it all"!
good luck at the counseling tonite - maybe they will have a suggestion.
hugs - cwohio